It can be as small as a box, or as big as a country.
Focus 重點 on feelings 感覺 and reactions反應.
20090828
My 1st birthday party! - amended
I think I have arrived at this world for one year. But why can’t I walk and can’t speak? I have been to the park for three times. I also need to go there today. Mama looked very happy, but I could not ask her why she looked so happy. I played with the children there for about two hours. Then Mama took me to the supermarket and bought a lot of food like sausages, pineapples, chips, etc. Afterwards, we went back home and she jotted something down. Mama took me to take the bus and went to
We entered the park, and I played the merry-go-round with Mama first. My grandparents arrived and we went to the restaurant to take lunch. I could eat a bit of porridge. It was my first time eating it, and it was very delicious. After we finished lunch, we played other thrill rides.
Afterwards, we went to the Ocean Theater to see dolphins and sea lions. Those dolphins were very lovely and we took a lot of photos. We were all tired and we took a bus home.
They were all busy to make dinner when we were home. I played with my sister in the living room for about an hour. Papa was holding a very big box when he came back. But he didn’t let me know what was inside the box. I was very curious, and always touched that box. I guessed that thing inside might be eatable.
Mama was afraid that I would break the box, so she put the box into the refrigerator carefully. I was unhappy and my sister cheered me up with a toy. After a moment, Mama took some sausages and pineapples to me and I ate them all. There was a lot of food during dinner. I ate a lot and they also gave me some juice. This was my first sip of juice.
We chatted after dinner. Suddenly, father took the box out, and sang a birthday song to me. It was a birthday cake inside that box. They divided the cake into many pieces. Papa blew the candle together with me. Then, we finished the cake happily. I had an unforgettable birthday.
SCORE:
2.5/5 (content) 3/5 (grammar)
My 1st borthday party!
Oh. I think I went to this world for one year. But why I can’t walk and why I can’t say the words? I went to the park three day. Today I need to go to the park too. Mama look like very happy but I can’t ask her why she looks like so happy. I played with those children about two hours. And then Mama took me to the supermarket and buys many foods like sausages, pineapple, chips, and many things. And then we went back home and settled down everything. Mama took me to take the bus and went to Ocean Park buy two tickets.
We enter the park, I played Marry-go-around with Mama first. My grandma and grandpa were arrived Ocean Park and we went to the restaurant to take the lunch. I can eat the food of a little liquid substance. Although I took a meal food, felt very delicious for the first time. After we finished the lunch then we played other dynamoelectric games.
After play the dynamoelectric games, we went to Ocean Theater to see dolphin and sea lion. Those dolphins were very lovely and we also take a lot of photo. We all played tired then we take a bus to go home.
They all busy to make dinner after went back home . I played with my sister in the living room about one hour. Father held a very big box when he comes back. But he didn’t make me know what inside the box. I was very curious, and always made that box. I felt that thing might can eat. Mother saw I would break the box, put back the box to refrigerator carefully. I was unhappy immediately then elder sister took a toy to coax me. After a moment, mother took some sausages and pineapples to me and I eat them all. They finished cookingat 7:00p.m. Today's dinner looked like many foods. I ate many foods and they also grant me to drink juice. This is my first sip juice.
Everyone chatted together after finished the dinner. Suddenly, father held that box to come out, and sang birthday song to me, that box was birthday cake. They divided the cake into many pieces. Father blew the candle together with me. Then, we finished the cake happily. Then I have a unforgettable one year old birthday.
We enter the park, I played Marry-go-around with Mama first. My grandma and grandpa were arrived Ocean Park and we went to the restaurant to take the lunch. I can eat the food of a little liquid substance. Although I took a meal food, felt very delicious for the first time. After we finished the lunch then we played other dynamoelectric games.
After play the dynamoelectric games, we went to Ocean Theater to see dolphin and sea lion. Those dolphins were very lovely and we also take a lot of photo. We all played tired then we take a bus to go home.
They all busy to make dinner after went back home . I played with my sister in the living room about one hour. Father held a very big box when he comes back. But he didn’t make me know what inside the box. I was very curious, and always made that box. I felt that thing might can eat. Mother saw I would break the box, put back the box to refrigerator carefully. I was unhappy immediately then elder sister took a toy to coax me. After a moment, mother took some sausages and pineapples to me and I eat them all. They finished cookingat 7:00p.m. Today's dinner looked like many foods. I ate many foods and they also grant me to drink juice. This is my first sip juice.
Everyone chatted together after finished the dinner. Suddenly, father held that box to come out, and sang birthday song to me, that box was birthday cake. They divided the cake into many pieces. Father blew the candle together with me. Then, we finished the cake happily. Then I have a unforgettable one year old birthday.
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