1. Travelogue --- trip to Yanghou Port (400 words)
2. If you have 8 more hours a day (400 words)
- a scientist invited you to be in a secret experiment
- a non-sleeping pill
- now you didn't need to sleep and have more time
- but you couldn't tell anyone
- what would you do?
20090805
A World Without Adults - amended
Once upon a time, a child called John read a book called “Amazing Magic” It was about an island for children about 12 years old.
Children about 12 years old could go to the island. There were no adults and the children were happy. They didn’t need to go to school and they could go anywhere anytime. They didn’t need to ask the adults. On this island, there’s a child called Jacky. Jacky hated his parents very much. And he decided to escape from home and go to this island.
When he arrived on this island, he was very happy because his parents were not there. He played computer games everyday and didn’t go to school. He talked to other children, and they told him this island was their paradise. Jacky asked, “Are there any special skills I can learn on this island?” The children were angry and shouted to Jacky, “There isn’t anything we need to learn!”
Their hobby was playing games, and the children didn’t need to go to school anymore. These children disliked the adults and didn’t want to see them anymore.
One day, Jacky’s house was set on fire. He wanted to call his parents to help him. But he knew his parents will not appear. He called other children to help him. But these children were not tall enough to climb up the house. At that time, they all cried and missed their parents.
After this fire, they didn’t go back to the normal world. They also played computer games everyday and ate too much food. Gradually, they became very fat and unhealthy. There were no clinics on the island.
Jacky’s health was worse day by day. He had a fever one day, his parents were not there and no one could help him. At that time, he missed his parents very much. He wanted to go back to the normal world. Suddenly, Jacky had a headache. After five minutes, he saw his parents. His parent’s looked very worried. He kissed his parents, and he knew their importance. He asked his parents to go back to the island to talk to the other children. His parents told him he could go back home. He went back to the island and told the other children, “Parents are very important to us!”
When John finished the book, he understood that he needed to cherish his parents.
CONTENT: 4/5 GRAMMAR: 2/5 ==== 6/10
Children about 12 years old could go to the island. There were no adults and the children were happy. They didn’t need to go to school and they could go anywhere anytime. They didn’t need to ask the adults. On this island, there’s a child called Jacky. Jacky hated his parents very much. And he decided to escape from home and go to this island.
When he arrived on this island, he was very happy because his parents were not there. He played computer games everyday and didn’t go to school. He talked to other children, and they told him this island was their paradise. Jacky asked, “Are there any special skills I can learn on this island?” The children were angry and shouted to Jacky, “There isn’t anything we need to learn!”
Their hobby was playing games, and the children didn’t need to go to school anymore. These children disliked the adults and didn’t want to see them anymore.
One day, Jacky’s house was set on fire. He wanted to call his parents to help him. But he knew his parents will not appear. He called other children to help him. But these children were not tall enough to climb up the house. At that time, they all cried and missed their parents.
After this fire, they didn’t go back to the normal world. They also played computer games everyday and ate too much food. Gradually, they became very fat and unhealthy. There were no clinics on the island.
Jacky’s health was worse day by day. He had a fever one day, his parents were not there and no one could help him. At that time, he missed his parents very much. He wanted to go back to the normal world. Suddenly, Jacky had a headache. After five minutes, he saw his parents. His parent’s looked very worried. He kissed his parents, and he knew their importance. He asked his parents to go back to the island to talk to the other children. His parents told him he could go back home. He went back to the island and told the other children, “Parents are very important to us!”
When John finished the book, he understood that he needed to cherish his parents.
CONTENT: 4/5 GRAMMAR: 2/5 ==== 6/10
Majon Inland
Once upon a tome, there was a book, it name was called “Magic Amazing” A child called john, learn all the things from this book. There was an island for the children who were about 12 years old.
All the children about 12 years old, there had no any adult and the children will very happy here. They didn’t need to go to school and they could walk everywhere anytime. They don’t need to ask the adult. In this Island, there’s one child call Jacky. Jacky hates his parents very much. And he decided escape from his home and go to this Island.
Till he arrive this Island, he was very happy because his parents were not here. He played the computer games everyday and didn’t go to school. He talked to other children, the children said this Island is their paradise. Jacky said, “Is this Island has any special skills he could learn?” The children were angry after Jacky said this thing. They said to Jacky, “There will not have any thing they need to learn!” Their response is play games, couldn’t go to school anymore. And these children think adult are the disagreeable people and they didn’t want to see them anymore.
One day, Jacky’s house was fired. He wanted to call his parents to help him. But he knew his parents will not appear here. He called other children to help him. But these children are too short, not enough to climb up the house. At that time, they all cry, they miss their parents. After this fire, they didn’t go back to normal world. They also played computer game everyday and eat many things. Gradually, they became very fat and not healthy. In “Magic Amazing”, there have no clinic.
Jacky’s health was bad day by day. And one day he had a fever, no parents here and no one can help him. At that time, he missed his parents very much. He wanted to go back normal world.
Suddenly, Jacky had a headache. After five minutes, he saw his parents. His parent’s looked like very worry. He kissed his parents, he knew the importance of parents. And he requested his parents to go back Magic Amazing to talk to other children. His parents answer him he could go back for a moment. He went back Magic Amazing and said, “Parents are very important for us!”
When John finishes the book, he understands he needs to cherish his parents.
All the children about 12 years old, there had no any adult and the children will very happy here. They didn’t need to go to school and they could walk everywhere anytime. They don’t need to ask the adult. In this Island, there’s one child call Jacky. Jacky hates his parents very much. And he decided escape from his home and go to this Island.
Till he arrive this Island, he was very happy because his parents were not here. He played the computer games everyday and didn’t go to school. He talked to other children, the children said this Island is their paradise. Jacky said, “Is this Island has any special skills he could learn?” The children were angry after Jacky said this thing. They said to Jacky, “There will not have any thing they need to learn!” Their response is play games, couldn’t go to school anymore. And these children think adult are the disagreeable people and they didn’t want to see them anymore.
One day, Jacky’s house was fired. He wanted to call his parents to help him. But he knew his parents will not appear here. He called other children to help him. But these children are too short, not enough to climb up the house. At that time, they all cry, they miss their parents. After this fire, they didn’t go back to normal world. They also played computer game everyday and eat many things. Gradually, they became very fat and not healthy. In “Magic Amazing”, there have no clinic.
Jacky’s health was bad day by day. And one day he had a fever, no parents here and no one can help him. At that time, he missed his parents very much. He wanted to go back normal world.
Suddenly, Jacky had a headache. After five minutes, he saw his parents. His parent’s looked like very worry. He kissed his parents, he knew the importance of parents. And he requested his parents to go back Magic Amazing to talk to other children. His parents answer him he could go back for a moment. He went back Magic Amazing and said, “Parents are very important for us!”
When John finishes the book, he understands he needs to cherish his parents.
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