My Amazing Graduation Ceremony - amended

My school was near a sea. I saw a submarine in the sea today when I went to school. I was very happy, because I could see one before I graduated from primary school. It was my graduation ceremony today, so I needed to go to school. My friends and I went into the classroom, and saw that it was written on the blackboard that the graduation ceremony would be held in the submarine. I was very happy and told this happy news to my classmates. Some of my classmates were happy, but some were frightened. I asked Sam, “Why are you unhappy?” He answered, “I don’t know how to swim!” I was very happy and asked again, “You don’t need to swim in a submarine and don’t need to worry!”

We went to the submarine by a small boat. Many people who saw us going to the ceremony were very jealous. We went onto the submarine and prepared for the ceremony. It was my first time in a submarine. The submarine was bought by our principal four years ago. I liked looking out of the windows. There were many sea animals outside.

We needed to go to the bottom of the sea and started the ceremony there. One year ago, many parents and classmates cried unhappily. We said to our teachers, “We will remember your teachings!” After the ceremony, the submarine went to a small island. The teacher said, “You can swim there!”

My friends and I swam there happily. When I went back to the submarine, I saw many classmates looking at the photos. The photos were taken before our graduation. We wanted to go back to that time.

When we left the island, the boat was lost. We were very worried and did not know what to do. Our class and our teachers used a mobile phone to call the submarine owner and said, “We lost the boat, what can we do?” The submarine owner said, “I am coming to save you!” All the classmates had gone back, but our teacher was lost. Our teacher was on the island. It was because the waves were very big.

Finally, we saved her and we went back to school. It was a amazing trip.


SCORE:
4/5 (content) 3.5/5 (grammar)